God's Light

As my life continues in a mad dash towards my future, whether I'm ready for it or not; I, like most people, can not help but wonder where my path will lead me, and more importantly, where God will lead me. A year ago I was seriously considering the Pastoral Ministry, although I have not completely closed out that possiblility I just don't feel that it is what I am to do now and not as seriously considering it, but if I feel so called to do so I will try to go as willingly as possible..But while I was considering the ministry my friend Andrew has felt called to the ministry so we had the opportunity to go to one of our church's seminaries for a weekend deal they called the "Taste of the Sem." It is very appropriately named event I'd say. But part of the weekend is they put each participant with a seminary student that they called a "Mentour" because we followed them around to go to classes on Monday and on the Sunday while we were there we went with them to their field church. It was a great thing to be able to get to know the Mentours because they became very influential in just the short time we got to know eachother. I was matched with a Mentour who was on his second career as a seminarian and had a wife and 2 little girls, so the step into the seminary took complete surrender to God and His plan. One thing that I'm sure made it easy for him and his family to accept any and all of the challenges seminary families face was God's Word. Before I left that weekend, my mentour (his name was David) gave me alittle gift and with it he wrote on a little card a note and in it he wrote one sentence that I know will stay with me forever, he wrote: "I hope that as you continue in His Word and prayer your path becomes all the more clear and sure." He then also included in parenthsis like this: (Ps. 119:105). Psalm 119:105 says, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." Those words are also expressed in the song "Thy Word." But now as I write this post I am becoming frustrated with myself because I know that I need to be in God's Word and in prayer so much more than I am, but it seems like the more I tell myself that the less likely I do it, I just get guilty. What is keeping me from it!?! In my own study Bible, at the bottom it has written about the lamp and the light, which is God's Word, "Apart from which I could only grope about in the darkness." How true is that!? It seems like to me yes, I do know much more than some people about faith and it might be alittle stronger than some people's but that just downright doesn't matter, comparing will get me nowhere. I am and have been groping in the darkness trying to find my way on my own thinking in a sense that I don't need any light, I can make it out of the darkness alone, I'll find my way out. But in actuality how much easier it would be if I just turned on the light, or i.e. opened God's Word. David (the psalmist) is an amazing writer, his metaphors are amazing and they are very abuntant in his writing.
Well, I don't know what else to say, but I pray that your path is well lit because of your closeness to God's Word and that you don't find yourself always groping around in the darkness trying to find your way when the light is there for you to have.

May God Bless you as you walk in His light,
Adam